In his book Stars, Cars & Crystal Meth Sutherland recounts the story of his life as a PA and bodyguard to Hollywood stars and famous musicians, reports the
His famous employers include Beyonce, Michael Stipe (of REM), Ru Paul, and Mickey Rourke and his work took him to exotic destinations, glitzy parties, and led to some bizarre requests.
One common responsibility of a celebrity PA is to source legal (and illegal) drugs:
“PAs [have] to pick up drugs, hold them, ration them out, and wipe celebrity noses as they emerge from restrooms, powdery-white round the nostrils.”
“Pills are staples of celebrity life. The PA will often hold them. And then wonder whether they should dispense so many.”
“Pusher, peddler, pimp, human pillbox. They don’t put that in the job description.”
But the worst part of the job was, according to Sutherland, the “humble domestic stuff”.
“Washing underwear with special soaps in bathroom basins (room service, even five-star, isn’t fast enough for one-nighters), when all you’re desperate for is a few hours’ sleep before you get up (early).”
And then there is dealing with a celeb’s ego:
“They’re frightened to death of hearing that little word. ‘No’ would mean 1) they haven’t yet quite made it to the very top of the slippery pole, or 2) they’re on the way down.”
“When BeyoncÃ©, or whoever, demands the dressing room be repainted in puce (no, hold that, lilac), and orchids flown in from the Tibetan foothills, they want proof they are all-powerful. Still masters/mistresses of the universe.”
We’ll stick to our office job, thanks.
Stars, Cars & Crystal Meth is out March 17, head over to to order your copy.